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It is apparent from the opening few lines of this speech that the groom has an excellent relationship with the bride's parents and this can be really useful, not just in the future, for obvious reasons, but it can also make the speech more humorous. This speech is also a good example of using events in history that happened on the same date as a source of humor.
Thank you for those lovely words. I'd like to remind you that you're not so much losing a daughter, but regaining three closets (wardrobes).
I will not forget the first time my wife took me home to meet her parents. To break the ice, I asked her dad which team he supported. "West Ham" (Cubs) he replied. Which was obvious as he lives in London (Chicago). So I said "I bet it's exciting when you win a match (tournament)." "I don't know," he replied. "I've only been supporting them For six seasons (ten seasons)."
By the way I haven't forgotten, I'll sign that receipt for you. He has written out a receipt for me. It reads: Received: one daughter in perfect condition, fully guaranteed. Care Notes: gets bored easily keep busy with a constant supply of chores.
Not to be outdone, my mom also has a receipt for my wife to sign. It reads: Received: one son, sold as seen, no refunds under any circumstances. I've re-decorated the room and changed the locks so you're stuck with him. Care Notes: de-hydrates easily, top up regularly with beer.
While writing this speech, I thought it would be a good idea to research some events in history which happened on this day. I found out that on this day in 1889 Sherlock Holmes appeared in the Adventure of The Engineer’s Thumb and in 1948 synthetic rubber was first used in asphaltic concrete. I'm sure both of these events will be a real inspiration to us over the years.
Now, there are some thankyous that I’d like to convey on behalf of my wife and I. We both want to thank the bride’s parents for the support they've given us. From day one, you have been fully behind us, and have always demonstrated how a marriage should be - and that's successful. I’ll do my best to live up to your expectations and promise to take good care of your daughter.
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Mother-in-law —I am very happy to be able to call myself your son-in-law, I’m also looking forward to being able to tell mother-in-law jokes in the future. Now, I wouldn't say my mother-in-law's cooking is bad, but when we go round for dinner, we pray after we eat.
Mom, I want to say a special thank you to you. You’ve given me so much love and support over thee years, have always been there for me when
I’ve needed you, and have been given a wonderful start in life. Thank you also for all the guidance and advice you’ve given me. For putting up with me and for pointing me in the right direction —usually only to watch me go off and do exactly the opposite but of course, that's what sons are for and do best of all. I am very fortunate and proud that you are my mom.
We would also like to thank you all for your "presence” in both senses of the word. But most of all, it's especially warming to see all the smiling faces in front of us, some of whom have come from a long way. We would also like to remember those people who couldn't be here in person. But I know they are here in our hearts, minds, and souls.
Thank you to all of those involved in the wedding arrangements including the toastmaster, the guitarist, and the staff here all of whom have helped make the day for us.
Especially, we'd like to thank my mom, my wife's mom and dad, the best man, and the bridesmaids. As a small token of our gratitude, we have some gifts to give out.
The biggest thank you is to my wife.
I want to thank you for being here now, even though you're probably suffering in silence. For those that don't know, she put her back out last week, and has been in agony since. It has nothing to do with me I might add. Today your outfit looks fantastic, and you look stunning in it. Although I must admit though that when I saw the color of your dress, I was a bit disappointed, as it means the dishwasher doesn't match the fridge anymore - never mind.
We have known each other as friends for around ten years, but didn't start dating each other until four years ago. It was after work on an August summer evening, I was in the pub with my friend, Miss Stella Artois, and I noticed her on another table. I thought I’d play hard to get, and so totally ignored her. But as the night went on, my friend got more and more insistent that I talk to her. Eventually, I had no choice so I staggered over, thrust a drink in her hand, and we have never looked back. Not the most romantic way to ask her out, but certainly the most effective. I am very proud to he your husband, and I couldn't have asked for a better person to share the rest of my life with.
Finally, thank you once again to our bridesmaids today. So would everyone please join me in a toast to the two beautiful bridesmaids. Now, please suspend your belief for the next five minutes, as you listen to the best man’s speech.